You’re not a kid anymore…

Hey ya’ll. I’m back. I am having a wonderful summer break and I have been just too busy going out and experiencing new adventures, and being lazy, that I just haven’t had the time to write anything.

Please forgive me; cause right now I’m feeling a little random these days. Been on a 72 hour streak of happy feelings with Mr. Conversation…… but there’s a blog about that later, so I won’t spoil the moment.

Okay enough about me. On to the main event.

Many weeks ago Mr. Conversation invited me to his office summer party.  I behaved well at the company event – drank wine, chatted up with some of his co-workers and managed to appear sane and responsible.    Then he and I bounced to another event that we both had been looking forward to going to since we heard about it.  It was a PR party that one of his boys were throwing, and I was excited to meet more of the people in his circle.

There—well there I behaved not so well. I’m always a lady, but I was a lady with one (or three) too many glasses of wine. The deejay got the idea to play Baltimore club music and I was taken back to the summers of my youth visiting my cousins in the DC suburbs. In my tipsy brightness and on a bad ankle that had been bothering me all weekend, I got low (“ahhh, pick it up, pick it up!”) and got back up just fine. I didn’t know I still had it in me. Gold star! Me and Mr. Conversation laughed about it all the way home and I  giggled myself to sleep that I was not only young at heart, but in body too.

The next morning, I realized I wasn’t as young in body as I thought I was. I could barely walk. My ankle was swollen to the size of a ham hawk. I wrapped it up to go to work and by the time I got there, my knee, calf, ankle and foot were magnormous!

I’m not 22 anymore.

The first week of summer vacation, boredom got the best of me and I headed down to Atlanta with Mr. Conversation.  We decided to hit up the club with some of my friends from the uh-re-ah. We made our way to this little happening spot for what promised to be a fabulous event. I walked in—skipped the line because my girl went to Clark Atlanta with the promoter—and headed upstairs to the party. On the first floor, the average age was 25. Further upstairs, I was afraid to even brush anyone lest I catch a case. In a room full of 18 year old “men” with angular frames that hadn’t filled out yet and faces that were baby soft from lack of hair, I felt like a cougar. I got a glass of wine (the bar was less packed upstairs) and promptly descended the steps to party with the legals.

As the night wore on, I noticed something. All of the grown folk were in VIP with me, Mr. Conversation, and my girl Reese. We were all dressed conservatively. Blazers and button-ups for the men; comfortable tops and shoes and other chill attire for the women. We looked like the grown folks we were. We were mostly chatting and small talking, trying to figure out how we knew each other (there’s only one degree of separation for all black people who went to college anywhere on the East Coast or South). As the Henny and Mo got to us, we began to dance—mostly two-stepping that involved plenty of fancy footwork. It was at that point, I noticed the kids—as I affectionately refer to anyone under 25—watching from outside the rope.

The girls… er, young women, had on sexy clothes—skin tight jeans and half tops. Way too much make-up and way too done hair and stilettos that looked painful to walk in. When they danced they stood on furniture and wined, backed it up on some boy who hasn’t learned how not to get hard when a girl shakes on him, or they got low, low, low. (I didn’t even attempt it that night. I’ve learned my lesson.) I watched one young girl shaking to the floor to a song that I used to get loose to in my day.

Back when Love was still Dream and I was a tender 22, I would go to the club and Jarvis and I would challenge the Baltimore folks to dance. I had the technique, but they always won (B-more folks can out dance anyone on sheer stamina alone.) But there was a time when I was the girl in the middle of the circle, when it wasn’t a good night unless I sweated out my hair and my outfit before the walk to the car. Ahhh, youth.

Taking in the scene, it hit me. “It” being that grown is not a fashion sense, it’s a state of mind. No amount of make-up or hair, or heels can make you grown or make you look grown. You just look like a young girl playing dress-up. But you have to be grown to realize that. Two, there is nothing worse than a person of grown age trying to appear that they are less grown than they are. Even if I had my 22 year old body, me in near-nothing clothes and/or gyrating around at the club would just look plain foolish. (And by the way, I found pictures of myself from when I was 22 while I was home. I was a size 3 with no boobies, booty or hips, and still starving myself because I thought I was fat.) And finally three, it takes time to get on the other side of the rope. You have to earn it, be around long enough to build your network (or bank account) so you are the person looking out from VIP and not the person looking in.

I smiled at the youth, watched them do what I no longer can and still be able to walk in heels the following day, watched them looking in VIP with overshadowed eyes at the grown folks on the grown side of the rope. I appreciated where I was and how far I’d come. The song changed, my moment of clarity passed and then I danced with a 23 year old in a t-shirt and jeans, who I taught how to two-step and properly twirl a woman.

Each one, teach one.

This has turned out to be an amazing summer!

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12 responses to “You’re not a kid anymore…

  1. ha! It’s funny how the club scene microcosm can reveal how much you’ve grown up, or how less makeup, grindin’, and raunchy clothing is actually more. I too, stared out on a couple dance floors, a little overwhelmed, and realizing that I don’t know how to “walk it out” nor “get low,” but what I can do is dance and hold my own…and that’s timeless.

  2. YAY!! Welcome back!

    My brother has kept you too busy to write. I must get on to him about this. I love reading your blogs. You should write a book.

  3. Welcome back Cammy!! Last night I went to one of the best spots in Houston (the Skybar) where the music is off the hook, the drinks are good (and reasonably priced) and the crowd is diverse (in age, ethnicity and economic background). I was having a great time until a group of 40 or 50-somethings who could no longer keep it together after a few drinks started to ruin it for everyone (or at least ruin it for my group sitting nearby). So, I’m inclined to wonder, do people REALLY grow up? From where I stood, it seemed the older folks were making asses of themselves while the younger ones chilled. Is 50 the new 19? But I totally feel you on the new aches and pains.

  4. Bonne Année CamronZoe!

    Wow, you just made me slip into a moment of introspection! For a week I went home to Detroit and met up with friends for coffee, lunch early dinners and drinks. No clubs involved. After dinner on Saturday my bf and I headed to MGM Casino to check out the hot new lounge Ignite. Well Ignite was too “hot” for me. I don’t do lines (the lounge is on the 3rd floor and there was a line for the freaking elevator) and 85% of the folks in the line were…improperly attired for my taste. I’m not 22 anymore either.

  5. I just went to Django …..you could not find one person that wasn’t posing. I’d rather be around old fogies who are trying to have fun then stuffy psuedo “buppies”.

  6. Welcome back Camron!

    OMG the same thing happened to me a few years ago when I was trying to get low/drop it like it’s hot in the club while visiting NYC. Woke up the next morning and had to have both legs wrapped up and slathered with my uncle’s BenGay! LOL! It was not a pretty sight or smell! I feel your pain!

  7. YAY! You’re back!

    I don’t even frequent the clubs anymore because of the “22-year-old-wannabes”. Even when I was 22 I didn’t act like that, so I surely don’t want to revisit.

    I will only go to a club if it is 23+. It took me a long time to get on the other side of the velvet rope and I’m just fine where I am…

    @Reva, I too hate it when folks stunt at the club…

  8. I posted a similar blog about this just before Christmas. Girl, get outta my head!!! I totally agree. I am, un/fortunately, grown and I know it. The club is officially getting old. *gulp* I never thought I would say that!

  9. you should listen to the poem Jill Scott has on her live album about the “baby” dressed like a hoochie attracting all types of older men and what a shame it was. listen to it on a happy day though because if you don’t you’ll hate men and blame them for the downfall of our youth, lol.

  10. Welcome back girl.. being with a man is a great reason to be missing in action. I hope you’re having a pretty decent summer vacation and are out of the heat, or at least creating your OWN heat….

    I went out to a private party and it was all grown folks getting down to ole skool hip, slow jams etc! i had so much fun. I don’t drop it like it’s hot but could if i wanted to and I leave the revealing HOT clothing for the younger folks.

    I’ll stick to my infamous “2 step” and continue to enjoy this phase of my life.

    I look forward to more of your thought provoking blog

  11. I wish you had a “like” button – my favorite quote is: “Grown is not a fashion sense, it’s a state of mind.” – preach*

  12. Why are you telling folks that you can dance your butt off like you’re a FLYY GIRL from In Living Color!! Lol

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