Listening Way Too Hard…. (LOL)!!

I’ve picked up this annoying habit of eavesdropping. It’s not intentional. I just happen to be in the vicinity and overhear wild ish when I’m out. I also have an insane memory when it comes to details.

So I’m at my favorite place the Cheesecake Factory on my first real night out since my unfortunate ankle operation.  I’m there with a group of my friends.  There’s a guy standing by my bench.  He winds up standing behind me while I’m sipping on my white Moscato in the overflow room, and he chats up with this young lady.  No biggie.

At first their conversation was pretty trite. Just your basic giggling, first-meet information exchange. I zone out to watch the men go by. The QC men dress up to go to the club. I mean like in suits and ties and pastel sweaters. I think they’re way overdressed, but I’m a sucker for a man in a suit.

So I guess there’s enough mutual interest between the pair in front of me to continue the conversation another time. From the conversation, I figure that she’s had his phone and punched her number in. Now here’s where things get interesting.

Him: I have to figure out what number to give you.

Her: Number?

Him: Yeah. The best a girl can get a first meeting is a seven.

Her: A seven? Like on a scale of 1-10?

Him: Yeah. 7.

Her: So uh, how do I get to a 10?

Him: Well that depends.

Her: On?

Him: Your conversation and your sex.

Her: [Pause] My sex?

Him: Yeah. How good it is and how fast I get it.

Her: [Pause.]

(I actually turned around and looked at both of them with the YUK FACE at this point. I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.)

Her: [Giggle] Cool.


They share another 30 seconds of small talk. He offers to buy her friends some drinks, her overflow bell goes off, then she leaves with the beverages. Ten seconds later, another chick is in his face. I look around and see that there is an informal line of women waiting to get this guy’s attention. I mean he’s okay, kinda short for my taste, (now that I’m into a taller man) but the body is sick and he is very brown. (Brown + muscles = happy Camron.) But this guy is a d*ck.

I slide over on my bench  up and convey the conversation to Roderick; one of my friends who came with me, who’s standing in front of me. I’m re-telling what I heard like all I cannot believe these are lines that chicks are putting up with.

Roderick is baffled to… until I point out the guy that said it.

“Him?” he asks, nodding slightly in the guy’s direction.

I nod back.

Roderick chuckles. “That’s {Panthers Player.} He’s got a 50 million dollar contract.”

I pause on that one for a minute wondering if it’s supposed to make a difference.

Nah.. not even for $50 mil could I let a guy disrespect me like that.

Well his bell chimes, and he goes in.

A couple minutes later, I’m still sitting on my bench. These two guys come in and take a position next to me. They’re just out to chill I’m assuming and to shoot the sh*t, (ie, gossip. Men love to gossip.) So one asks the other if he’s been in touch with a mutual friend.

“Nah. I ain’t seeing too much of him now. He and [the wife] are having problems.”

The first guy inquires into what problems exactly. The second guy says it’s not his place to speak on it.

I respect this.

The first guy asks if it’s serious enough for divorce as the couple haven’t been married long.

The second guy makes the first guy promise (like we’re in second grade) not to repeat the story he’s about to tell.

So it seems their boy’s wife confessed that she was still in love with her ex-husband. Of course, this info messes up their boy to no end. In retaliation, he cheats. The wife finds the numbers of some chicks in his phone, calls and confirms that the husband is cheating with these women. Now everything’s gone to shit.

“Wow,” says the first guy. “He must be fucked up. I’d be if my girl said some ish like that to me.”

I love how they skipped over the him cheating part like that wasn’t the big deal too.

“I told him not to marry her so quick,” says the second guy. “I told him there wasn’t a big hurry.”

“So why’d they do it so fast?”

“Man,” says second guy with a big sigh. “He found out she made over 100 and wanted to lock it down.”

“What?” says first guy.



25 responses to “Listening Way Too Hard…. (LOL)!!

  1. LOL! Out of all the ish on here that I write, this casual conversation gets called out? Really?

    It’s cool. I’m sure one of my friends will be along to confirm shortly. Be patient.

  2. happy Saturday. this is the first time i’ve ever came to your blog…a friend sent me the link on Facebook, the other day, and i must admit, i wasn’t big on blogs, but yours is different…i love it! i will forever be a follower….keep on writing…

    reaction, in order:



  3. Um, lol!
    First: Cam, I totally agree, no amount of another person’s money is going to allow me to stand be disrespected!

    Second: This isn’t the first time I heard of dudes trying to lock females down because they make a good living. I had an ex who when he talked about his cousin’s wife, it was never anything about her being a great person, only about the fact that she was pulling down 90,000 a year!!! Let me find out men are golddiggers too!!!

  4. Doesnt shock me, that men can be golddiggers. Women have more earning potential than the men now, it makes sense, its possible that dude wouldnt see 100k in his line of work so he married someone who can or has achieved that. But doesnt this fact speak to the acceptance and wanting of a “independent” woman that we discussed a couple of blogs back? or does it speak to a “fad” thats prevailing right now? I really dont know…

    But from the husbands point of view… so not only does your woman not need you (ie makes more money than you, yes thats an assumption based on the fact that the reason he married her was because she made 100k) but she still in love with her ex… ego is burried and dead, the sham is over. Give him his half!?

  5. Oh and another thing, about the “disrespected” girl… call me captain obvious, but it’s no difference between the girl and the dude in this situation, they both have their eyes on the prize…the almighty (but SEVERLY weakened) dollar…

  6. i was definitely at Cheesecake Factory too I see him..!!!…girl, there are so many ” groupies” (girls that meet the ball players and $$$) in this area it’s not even funny! In fact, I met someone in the industry from this area about a year ago. We were always cool and hung out because we have a lot of mutual friends, but when he pursued I took in mind his “lady popularity” and declined. Then one day while we hug out at a lounge he whispers in my ear while Ushers ‘Love in the Club’ played in the background…,”[Jae] i would take you in the DJs booth and eat you out if you let me”…….SMDH ummm NOPE.

  7. Not saying what anyone mentioned in the blog said or did was right or even near moral. However, I feel like we’ve heard this story before. When it comes down to it, certain men and women will allow themselves to be a ‘ho if the price is right. On the real, that first conversation sounds like any club night between Sun-Thurs in DC (or any major city for that matter).

  8. Also, I agree with you no amount of money is enough to let some arrogant low budget baseball player disrespect you or speak to you in such a demeaning manner..I think it’s the redskins are baseball, but whatever..the point is My respect is priceless…

    And you are right about that second story, how are those two fools going to completely overlook the fact that they’re boy is cheating as if that didn’t make the situation even worse…

    Shame on it all…

  9. Greg, give him his half of what.
    If you are implying that she give him half of the family assets, unless he contruibuted financially, emotionally, or some way shit even if he played the house wife role, then nah he aint getting shit.

    And the same stands for women.

    If you meet me with money, and you marry me for money, dont think that a split means you get half or even 10%, im sorry.

    If you not contributing financially, or supporting the home fort by being a homekeeper, child raiser etc, you aint get shit.

    A person can pay $60 for sex and if u multiply that by the amount of times you gave me, Minus the gifts i gave you during the time, Minus you living off me, then that equals to what you get from me

  10. hey Charlene….although we may not like it, I am assuming we are thinking along the same lines here, but if the situation was reveresed, ie some woman marrying some man cause he make 100k, the woman would be getting half (EDDIE!!). We cant speak as to what he did or didnt do emotionally or financially or whatever, bottomline they were married (yes I am divorcing them already) he get half or alimony or something! 🙂

  11. Yeah do think on the same line, but if a man has to F*** around with a FEW girls to feel like amna, because I still have some kind of feelings for my EX.

    Then trust me, he wont be getting any of my money to wipe his tears

  12. I’m going to Co-sign William. The first conversation takes place in every major city in America at every major club/lounge. I am not surprised by the females reaction when he gave the ‘rating’. I think it would also be wrong to label the man a ‘dick’ simply because of the conversation he had with that woman, whom we might as well label a ‘hoe’; however the truth is, we don’t know either one of them, and our opinion may vary according to the situation. It goes to the saying, “One man’s treasure, is another man’s trash”. For example, said woman may allow million dollar athlete to speak to her like this, however, she will not allow a doctor with a million dollar practice to speak to her this way; with the doctor she may expect respect. This is crazy considering that many of these athletes and entertainers are mingling in circles with professionals (doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs). It’s like self-respect/morality is for sale and prices vary: i.e. money, status, fame, depending on your vice.

    In regard to the second scenario, this has become a normal conversation I observe as well. First, if she was still in love with her ex, why did she marry dude? There must have been an underlying motive as well. Second, the dispute seems to be over the duration of their courtship, not the authenticity. It may be possible that was socially ambitious, and he needed a wife/family to help him acheive some of his goals (i.e. political/business aspirations, social clubs, exclusive dinners, etc.) where a being a ‘family man’ is tantamount. Third, his cheating is a an expression of his feeling of inadequacy. He wanted to hurt her the way she hurt him. But trust, if he had a 100 girls, it still wouldn’t numb what he’s feeling; because he doesn’t love them. And she loves that other man. He’s gonna be sick for a minute, and unfortunately, a lot of women are going to feel is wrath.

  13. Interesting convo’s. Just another example of games that continue to be played in the dating scene. And both parties get off in some form or fashion. The first scenario isn’t surprising considering I’m sure she knew who dude was. He’s got paper and popularity and she wouldn’t mind a bit of it for a price. So he may get some bun and she maaaay get a nite at a nice hotel. Shyt maybe even a cab home, lol. But he by no means would consider her treasure. Nevvvvvvaaa!! She’d be simply a cute throwaway. As for convo two, well dude married his lady because she had dough and why she married him, who knows? I do suspect she stays and deals with his cheating because she feels bad for revealing her still existing love for her ex. Moral of the story: be true to who you are and many of u will weed out this bullshit. IF u want to. These folks are being true to themselves as well. Thing is their reality is drama filled, troublesome and short lived. Just hope they all protect themselves, good lawd.
    We ALL know how badly these stories can go.

    Peace ya’ll

  14. I wish I could hear convos like that…but then again, I don’t think I would be able to stay quiet…

    I guess that’s why I don’t hear them…lol

  15. Camron: No, Athletes have not been apart of the ordinary dating scene for everyone. I mean, in that time when most of our parents/grandparents were in college/trade/professional school people would often marry within their same social circles (women were often encouraged to marry up), i.e. If you were a college educated female, you were taught to seek out a college/professional man; not simply any man with money, but a certain ‘pedigree’ if you will. I think that because we are all dating each other (Athlete & professional, Doctors & models, etc.) there seems to be this craziness that you get from dating this broad range of people. I will expound later, I am currently occupied professionally until Wed. night but I will stay abreast of all commentary/insight and your usual blog.

    (see:’Our Kind Of People’ by Lawrence Otis Graham in reference to the direction I am going)

  16. CamronZoe – I too can vouch for you being at the Cheesecake last night. When I got home, I kept replaying our conversation. I kept thinking damn, what was the name of her blog, what did she say, what did she say, what did she say….I tried a few different ways to spell Camron, Camreon CameRon, Cameron, Kameron, KamRon, Kamreon…and after about my hundredth attempt I finally lucked up and found it.There it was: CamronZoe!

    Can’t believe we talked for almost an hour and you didn’t think to mention ONCE that you had ankle surgery. Glad to know it was surgery, and not something else. When you got up and limped away my friends teased cracked up, but it was all to the good. You were a great sight hopping away on your sorority stick.

    You really have skills with the keyboard. It’s not everyday you meet an attractive woman, that is as intelligent, funny, smart and entertaining as you are.

    Again, nice to meet you CamronZoe (like toe with a Zoe). Didn’t get to say that last night!

    • wow Jonathan, first let me say Thank – You. I can’t believe you did all that work just to find my blog. I am very flattered. I guess I should have written it down for you. I’m all about sharing my work.

      my blog started as just something that would help me pass the time while i was recovering over the summer, but now I have over 1,000 people who clock in on a daily basis. it’s absolutely wonderful…it’s better than anything i could have ever imagined. when people respond to my ideas it makes me feel like i am being heard, even if they don’t always agree.

      i kind of got off on a tangent there, but i really said all that to say that i hope you going thru all the trouble to find the blog was worth it!

      email me:

  17. James…great reference to a great book a lot more people should read…i think it was the basis or at least a catalyst for the Cosby Show and why it was real!!!

    But, also, i dont think folks understand that aint got ish to do wit love…marriage is much a business as it is a relationship…

  18. Gotta give Kewon a bump on that last one. Show me one man or woman that got married KNOWING their spouse had jacked up credit or no prospects of earning a living?

  19. @Brent- have you ever seen the film “How Stella got her groove back”? That is reality…LOL I guess that island d!ck is a currency all on its own….

  20. you’re right. I misspoke. I should have asked has anyone who wasn’t WHIPPED at the time, gotten married under the terms I mentioned. If you’re gonna have a Stella/Winston, Star Jones situation in place before you get married, you kinda deserve whatever you get.

  21. @camron, do you remember in undergrad we’d say we wanted to marry a rich man, so we wouldn’t have to work….

    same concept…except these people don’t joke about it like we did, they actually live it…

    @ Jonathan – that was very sweet

    @ Camron, we must talk about this….

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