HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

So this year is  a “milestone” birthday for me. One I wasn’t ready to deal with. I looked at my professional life, my love life, and decided “Hmm, turning ___ years old? Naw. Not yet.” I  am just having a hard time trying to accept it. You know that moment when you process your new age and what it means and you reflect on that? I WANT TO TOTALLY SKIP THAT PART.   Though the reality is, now, I’m a whole ‘nother year older than the age I turned last year, but I still haven’t turned that age yet. So basically, I am all screwed up in the head. More than usual.

(SIGH)

I’m either going to keep rolling with the age I turned in 2006 for another year or take on my 2009 one. But this 2011 one? Oh no, hell no. Ain’t happening. The last thing I need right now is to go another hour forward on my biological clock (I am hitting the snooze button with a sledgehammer until my Jet wedding, even though the buzzing is getting louder), nor do I need to play “Well, what was so-and-so doing at this age?” or “Why is such-and-such 35 and this far ahead in the life game?” or “When is my passion going to become a career and not a secret side hustle?”

It’s an awkward time of life for me. It’s the crisis before the mid- life crisis: grown, but still a lot of growing to do. Scratching the surface of the lives we want, but still not planted firmly where we’re trying to be. Caught between being ready for families and relishing freedom, while managing the fact that the former is not hardly promised and the latter, quite overrated at times.

Though all jokes aside

My meandering thoughts on turning 3+++++?:

I’ve concluded that most of the commenters on the blog are in their 20s and 30’s. And I largely base that theory on the way turning 35 is viewed as the end all of life. Like if you haven’t found a husband, a career path, bought a house, popped out a kid, finished school or any other so-called markers of adulthood by the time you’re 34 and 264 days, you might as well just call it a wrap and settle for life’s consolation prize. Every thing that matters is just oh-vah for the next 50-60 years once anyone, but especially a single woman, falls off the twenty-something cliff.

A cheating man? Hell no at 25, but okay at 35.

Not married at 30? Give up.  Not married at 35? You’ll be single forever.

Ain’t got a prospect by 30? (love yourself)…..Ain’t got a prospect by 35? L-O-S-E-R!

35 (sigh)……..

Gosh. Sounds… old, huh? Just a lil. LOL.

I know I don’t look my age. Last time I hit the beach, some college boys tried to kick it to me. They looked like babies. Asked to sit by my blanket. Nah, boo. A bassinet is a better look. I feel old sometimes though. Don’t quite get over colds the way I once did and sometimes my knee is achy after a good run or bench lunges. Got some grey hairs too. I don’t even bother coloring them. Such is life.

At some point in this life time I will gradually accept the realization that I am actually over 30.  It’s just that I don’t feel old. Matter of fact, I don’t even feel grown. Don’t feel like I’ve arrived, still got a-ways to go on my path. But I can see the destination. It’s still on a hill, but I’m not looking from the bottom of the valley anymore. I can carve a clear path if I stay focused.  The good in my life outweighs the bad.  I’m happy, I’m able, and I’m breathing…

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36 responses to “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

  1. Happy Birthday! you are so wise! I really love reading your posts.. you give me a lot of insight on what to expect in the 2-5 yrs to come. I am really learning a lot about people as well. Thanks for sharing!

  2. That was so beautiful. I’m all teary eyed. I feel so reflected in this piece. I also turn 30 ish next month. Wow. Change is certain, growth is optional. This was an amazing story of growth. Peace.

  3. Happy Birthday!!! I mentioned to almost a stalkerish (heard about Marion Barry??) degree that you inspire me. It’s wonderful to be able to accomplish so much and be recognized and appreciated for it. Enjoy your day and whatever you do don’t stop writing.

  4. Feliz Cumpleanos CamronZoe:)!! Have a fab time with your manfriend ms ma’am. Amazing post and you continue to keep us inspired. And the reason you were called ma’am wasnt your age, but the way you carry yourself!

  5. Happy 35th Birthday CamronZoe!! I turned 25 a few months ago and you make me look forward to turning 30. I realize that in the next 5 years, I can accomplish so much in such a short time. You motivate me, you inspire me, thanks for always being you!
    Have fun in Mexico

  6. Happy birthday, CamronZoe! You should be proud of everything you’ve accomplished and the life you’ve lived. Here’s to a prosperous, healthy future, filled with love, joy, and triumphs

  7. HAPPY 30ish BIRTHDAY CamronZoe!!

    Reading your post made me think of myself and how I’m learning some of the same lessons as I approach the big 3-0 (Monaco 2011 anyone!!!) I’m soooooo excited to turn thirty and see where this next chapter in my fabulous life takes me and I hope the story I tell is as wonderful and inspiring as yours. Enjoy your day!!

  8. I am excited to hear your wisdom and realization of things that of come to past. I have just entered into the last year of my 20’s and i cant wait to feel and reflect what u have done today. I wish you many blessings this day. Happy B-day!!

  9. happy bday baby gurl….the dirty 30’s are not so bad.. i saved you a spot right up front.. so everyone can admire> 🙂

  10. Very well written Cam (not that I should be surprised) I hope to embrace the “thirty fifth floor” with the same level of grace and class….

  11. Happy Birthday, Ms. CamronZOe !! You are truly a “friend in my head” and even when I’m fussing at you through the computer screen, you really crack me up and make so much sense!

    I’ll be 30ish in eight months (I’m SOOO looking forward to it) and I have one thing in particular that I need to make happen by then. It could have probably happened long ago were it not for procrastination (I swear it can be your downfall if you let it) but I’m working on it. That’s another story for another day.

  12. Happy Birthday CamronZoe!

    I turned 27 on Monday, and I reflected on how far I’ve come, and I’m looking forward to it getting better.

    I used to dread getting older, but now I embrace it, and I hope I bring in my 30 ish birthday with the same class that you did.

  13. Happy Birthday Camron!!!

    Wow! Your thoughts on 30 ish are amazing and i think you are truly a gift to all of us that read your blog. I definately wouldn’t be the woman i am and becoming had it not been for my ‘Big Sister’ all the way in NYC sharing her life lessons, and more. I used to be terrified of birthdays but after getting hooked on your blog this year and reading your 35 things i know for sure, i did my own, i go back to both often and realise how much i’ve grown and how much i thought i knew but did not. So now i’m facing 25, thoughts of moving to my own version of NYC and accomplishing my dream. Not everyone gets to live the dream, but with alot of faith and encouragement from someone who has travelled the journey, and arrived at the destination beautifully, i’m that much more confident in ME.

    So before i pull a LeeWard (said with love) live well, live beautifully and live as the best version of you there is.

    Thanks Miss Camron and all the best on your journey and have a fantastic birthday weekend!!

  14. Happy Birthday Camron!
    I’m one year behind you so I appreciate hearing your thoughts, especially since I can really relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I thought by 30/35, etc. I would be an “adult,” wearing suits, married, in the suburbs and have to adapt to some sort of homhum existence, but nope, I still dress crazy and have fun (don’t do the clubs and drinking like I used to) and am raising the poster child for cuteness (my 4year old daughter) by myself. So, thanks for the being an example of success that doesn’t come at the price of boredom. Have a great day!

  15. Happy Birthday CamronZoe. Congratulations also hitting the 30 and over mark and having accomplished so much. It gives us 20 year olds a lot to think about.

    Have fun and fabulous Birthday!

  16. Wow… I hope at 30 ish I can look back and see my last decade a lot like that… but over here… on this path I’m walking. 🙂

    Happy Birthday

  17. Happy Birthday! You’ve expressed your growth very beautifully! I’m 25 now and I aspire to have this same level of grace and wisdom at 30!

  18. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMRON!!!! I wish you a great day full of light , love and laughfter….I love your blog!!! Keep up the great work!

  19. Happy Birthday to you! Been enjoying “lurking” & reading your blog. Welcome you’re over the hill; I turned 46 in June & I love it!!! It only gets better. I like how listed all you’ve learned thus far in life; I’m inspired to make my own list this afternoon 🙂 Enjoy your day.

  20. Its amazing to me how men and women think about getting older and approaching a new age. Men tend to embrace it, not really thinking about what they haven’t accomplished but more along the lines of enjoying the journey of getting there…Women have a “It’s my 30th bday..AGAIN” celebration. LOL!

    But definitely Happy Bday to you and may God bless you with many many more!!

  21. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!!!!

    What a nice reflective post. As usual, I can relate. This road called life is very interesting. Thanks for being so open and sharing yourself with others. You are like THE GREAT VALIDATOR!!!

  22. I like when you posts blogs like this. You used to do that. Now you just post about current events. What happened? You don’t write about your “unintentionally hilarious adventures” anymore. Your blog is not the same as it used to be.

  23. Happy Birthday CamronZoe
    Your insight is phenomenal! I just turned 35 about 3 weeks ago, and I’m still trying to grasp this new milestone, plus I just found out I’m having a baby in February. Not the path I envisioned, but I’m learning to let go & roll with the hills and valleys that life has. I also realized that life doesn’t fit into a perfect little box that we assume it should.

  24. you enlighten’d & empower’d me to celebrate my self & my life on various levels.
    thus, i hope you are celebrate’n your self, your life, & your success to maximum capacity 😀
    you are such a blessing worldwide!

  25. I was musing about my 35th (coming in October) earlier today. Paused for a second and realized I may not have everything I want, but I love everything I have. I feel like I’m settling into it…

    Happy Birthday!

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