These Basketball Wives (or ex’s) need a Reality Check…

When is keeping it real, wrong?

I’ve been trying to avoid blasting Basketball Wives, mostly because as many people diss the show, there are many more — to the tune of 3.5 million for the show’s premiere — that seem to love it. And they watch more so now mainly because of the reality show star Tami Roman, who got her start on the Real World in 1993.

I get it — sort of. There’s something fascinating about a woman who holds no cut cards, and won’t hesitate to slap the brown off another woman, especially when she has it coming. We are of a culture where getting somebody told and keeping it real are prized personality traits. But Tami, a real-life “Angela,” the fired up, neck rolling, loud-talking heroine of Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?,” has done nothing to be prized or celebrated. She is a classic case of when keeping it real goes wrong.

Her highlights of Season 2, include starting a fight at a ritzy Miami fundraiser where she popped off her shoes and tried to fight her co-star Jennifer Williams. Later in the season, she attacked another co-star, Evelyn Lozada. Monday night’s Season 3 episode shows a surly Roman jumping across a sofa and slapping “Basketball Wives” newcomer Meeka Claxton, which has resulted in a lawsuit.

I no longer watch Basketball Wives because of my distaste for watching grown women of color act a prime time fool. I saw the Twitter comments Tuesday morning, the day after Roman slapped Claxton, and pulled up the clip on YouTube. I was disturbed to find people declaring #TeamTami and practically congratulating her for winning a fight. I’m sorry (not really), but when grown women show their natural behinds—and other blurred out parts—in public, there is no winner and there is nothing to be cyber hi-fived on. It’s a lose-lose situation, if for no other reason than the very important one that it reflects poorly on the women involved specifically, and the ones who share their color in general.

Point blank: We don’t have the White privilege of being thought of individuals who act on their own accord. Even though we know the difference, mainstream society takes it as proof of ugly stereotypes about Black women and processes it as “Well, you know how Black women can be…”

Tami Roman doesn’t need our cheers or our co-signs. She needs to be told to sit down. That reckless behavior is out of order. It wreaks of lacking anger management and self control, and it’s appallingly obvious that she needs a therapist’s intervention STAT!  You might call it drama, entertainment, or funny. I won’t. I call it BS!


14 responses to “These Basketball Wives (or ex’s) need a Reality Check…

  1. whooo, I just have to get in on this one. These so called reality shows are all trash, and we should be ashamed of ourselves as black people for giving them so much of our time and attention. When is someone going to stand up and refute this keeping it real bullish, I think Tami is trying to break into acting(check her IMDB page), how can anyone sing the praises of someone who is degrading herself in the name of money..All these so called wives need to sit down! Its time for us to want more for ourselves and our kids than this type of crap. Keeping it real would be not hanging around people who you don’t like and who don’t like you. Setting a good example for your children. Its sad but this is what black people have been reduced to, and I see the effects of this in everyday life, black people thinking that being loud, aggressive and talking smack is where is at, not realizing that they are setting themselves, and by default all of us back.

  2. I totally agree! Although I do watch Basketball Wives for pure entertainment, there is a line that needs to be drawn. When grown women “claim” to have cl*** but act pure foolish, this has a bad impact on ALL women. Mind you almost every show there is some sort of b this and b that and straight drama! I think the only reason why these ex-basketball wives were picked for the show is because real basketball wives don’t have time for this drama. In all honesty I like Tami, but there is a line that she needs not to cross. When the only way that you can address your point is by putting your hands on another human being, then you seriously need to reevaluate yourself. As stated in the article, I think she needs to sit down and have a counseling session with someone. Instead of Shaunie paying for the lavish trips, she needs to provide them all with some therapists!

  3. Why does everything have to be centered around “black this” and “black that”! Ugggh do you not see the White women on New York Housewives or the Italian women on housewives of New Jersey. they all act like 12yr olds so stop with the “black” ish. All they ***es act like children and get praised for it. ALL OF THEM: black,white or watever. Get a life!

  4. I agree with you 110%…Yes I understand the being real factor in some situations. But as a GROWN WOMAN with TWO daughters it is out of hand…Tami can not fight world because of what they say…she is setting such a bad example on sooo many different levels..And we wonder why our young girls are soo mean and think bullying and fighting is the way to make in the world. Maybe her reality check will be that lawsuit; she can’t go up in there slapping folks!!!

  5. totally agree! I no longer watch the show either…. This season it seems that they only argue and fight! I want to see the good things that I know they must be involved in and not just scenes of them going to drink, eat and fight!!!!

  6. Notice that I said “WE” should be ashamed of ourselves for giving these show so much time and attention, and “THEY” should be ashamed of showing themselves in that light on tv. Its like watching a train wreck, you know you shouldn’t but you do it anyway.

  7. It doesn’t matter if you are doing good or bad, people will still talk about you. First off, why are people so worried about the behaviors of others? It shouldn’t affect you as a person. What another individual decides to do or say does not define who I am. If other black women want to act a fool, they can. However, I will not. So I agree with HONEY. Their behavior DOES NOT affect who I am as a professional black woman. True enough, other races may think that all black people are the same. Therefore, I’m determined to be the one that will make them say, “maybe my ***umptions were wrong.”

  8. Everyone needs to stop with the bullsh**t because if the show was so degrading we wouldn’t be haveing this conversation.. obviously you watch the show!! I think tami is just misunderstood, she is one of the nicest people in the world just dont cross her. You could only push a person so far and meeka did just that!!! lesson learned “STOP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH” and you wont get slapped!!

  9. BRAVO! CamronZoe you and your blog sums up exactly how I feel about the show. I understand that drama sells but the fact that television doesn’t show many women of color uplifting one another tips the scales in favor of foolishness.

    There was no reason whatsover to champion the antics displayed on that show. If you don’t get along with someone and truly have a disdain for them then remove yourself from environments that they are in. There was no reason for the fight and it showed Tami’s inability to deal with perceived adversity in a civil manner. How are you just COMPELLED to fight someone that is of no physical threat to you?

    Truthfully, Tami was looking for a fight. She was clearly the aggressor, so while she’s cloaking herself in this image of “realness” she’s sending the message that “real women” start arguments in the most improper of settings, get drunk and start fist fights…all based on principle. Someone should get her a ***tionary because her definition is a bit off and by “a bit” I mean, completely.

  10. Well I enjoy watching the show. And once Tami joined, I loved it even more. We all know that some of those women need there a*** slapped and Tami did it. Of course I haven’t been able to watch the new season featuring the new girl because I am deployed but I’m sure it is a real kicker. (lol) Between Evelyn, Shauni, Jennifer they all need a reality check. You aren’t wives yet that is the ***le you have been given…lol!! Their lives are my entertainment!!! LOL!!! And NO their behavior does not reflect who I am as a black professional woman..sorry!!

  11. Although I am a fan of Tami, I was very disappointed with her behaviour. Upon the first confrontation on this most recent episode, I thought to myself, “really.” There is a point when you have to just say, okay, I don’t like you, you don’t like me, let’s just agree that we won’t speak or deal with one another if we don’t have too. I have to say, I also don’t buy Shaunie’s innocent I didn’t want the show to be like this act. You have to be kidding me! I know there are people that edit things out but truly Shaunie knew with these dominant personalities for the most part what she was getting herself into. I like Tami however I totally disagree with her behavior. Her point was made about Meeka a few episodes ago so let’s just be done with it!

  12. @CamronZoe – your twit topics are OTDC! You should change professions. Bump being a school teacher, be a relationship counselor…You’re great….Love love LOOOOOVE your blog!

    I also agree…I didn’t watch BBWives’ 1st two seasons because I didn’t want to see more of more fellow black women behaving badly on TV. But then I realized that all of the Real Housewives shows and most reality shows display obnoxious and rude behavior–from black and white people, young and old. So I caved and started watching BBWives out of curiosity. At first, I too liked Tami because she seemed down-to-earth and cool. But her bullying ways, and her eagerness to keep drama going EVERYWHERE she goes makes her sickening. She is too old to behave like that: hauling off and hitting folks, cussin and fussin in fine establsihments. When she called Meeka a ‘black ***’ and hauled off and hit her on the last episode I was too through with her–and the show. Shaunie O’Neal is nothing but an instigating pimp, and teh only real wife on the show is their main enemy, Meeka. Whatever…let me close by saying that the only reason Tami got the applause she get at EMF was because she made that appearance before this recent fight aired. I’d like to think that people wouldn’t have cheered for someone who happily gives such an obnoxious representation of us on TV.

  13. This show is an atrocity on so many levels. I’m still trying to understand how some of them aren’t married to anybody yet still are called ‘wives’! Spike Lee missed it – THIS is the new **** show circuit! Ironic how this garbage is on at the same time we have a beautiful, articulate, intelligent,strong black woman as the First Lady of this country. Shaunie “No longer a basketball wife herself” O’Neal should be ashamed of herself for perpetuating this negative stereotype!

  14. Well if you have paid attention or been following the show on the one episode where she went back home and she went and visited her mom it was obvious she gets her behavior from her and her mom admitted that she was very mean to Tami when Tami was growing up and Tami even acknowledge the fact that it was from her mom. Her mom looked like she was a mean and hateful woman. Her mom was trying to talk to her but hey if the apple don’t fall far from the tree then what. I think Tami needs counseling but those girls know how she is so just stay out of her way. As far as Meeka, she deserved everything she got because what GROWN WOMAN goes around playing sides when clearly you know none of them so that’s what happens when you run your mouth grown woman or no grown woman point blank!

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