Tales of Myspace and Facebook…


I started a MySpace page years ago. And a couple months later, I declared to anyone who would listen “MySpace is the devil!” I hated having all my friends connected for all the world to see (In part, MySpace was the beginning of my Main Street theory about life.) Everyone was able to go on my page and find exactly who I knew, and could judge who was in my best graces by the Top 8 or 16 on my page. (Remember how upset good friends used to get if they didn’t make the cut? Or equally as bad, if they weren’t in the top 4?) I recalled laughing at how petty it was until one of my friends for almost a decade cut me from their top 16 and I was deeply offended. Then there was the time I realized the guy I was dating for a couple months had his ex girlfriend in the “Number One” spot and me way down on the page. Later I’d heard a crush had broken up with his girl and I didn’t believe the rumors until he took her out of the “One spot.” Stupid, petty, insane, I know. But I felt a way about it even if had too much pride to actually verbalize it. (In a moment of sheer insecurity, I did say actually hit my boy about getting cut from the Top 16. “Are we good?” read the random text. Thankfully, he assured me that we were.)

Because of all that, I avoided Facebook for years until everyone and their mother was on it. Facebook is even worse. Unless you actively change your alerts, the system updates all your friends to every move you make. Leave a message on an ex’s wall? The whole world knows. Go to a party that you didn’t invite someone to? They know as soon as you add your pics. After gaining so much insight into my friends social lives based on who they were adding to their page and hitting with random chatter (and feeling awful about a distant associate when I was alerted that her engagement had ended), I realized they had all the same information about me. (This was reinforced when a friend noted how many times a day a certain someone and I were posting on each other’s wall.) It was at that point that I changed most of my settings and declared Facebook to be the Devil 2.0.

One day, after reading yet another random email in my Facebook Inbox from some dude trying to “holla holla holla” and seeing ad after ad pop up about being single [ED. Note: my weekly Facebook ad reads “30 something and Single?”], which promised I would find relationship bliss by clicking some link, I decided to update my profile to minimize such outreach. Plus, I had just read some article about identity theft and how criminals will go on social networking sites to retrieve pertinent information that they can then use to get to your bank accounts. Being as though I work very hard for the $4.75 that is in my bank account, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to do some of the tips the article suggested.

First, I updated my birthday, so it didn’t list my birth year, then updated my hometown, a link I never noticed before (since you know nothing about me except what you’re currently reading, just know I am a very proud Charlotte girl!

I then changed my relationships status from Single to blank.

A few hours later I got a note from one of my associates asking when they were going to meet the new guy.


Another message came in shortly after from another associate stating congratulations and good luck on my new relationship.


Finally, a text from a girlfriend, giving well wishes and was very happy for me and the new beau.


I didn’t realize that Facebook sends an update to all your “friends” stating what you’ve changed about your profile. With that relationship change, Facebook henceforth announced to all my Internet crew that I “was no longer listed as single” (with the nerve to put a little heart next to it.)

At first I was mortified, as most of us single girls would be. Who wants to have any part of their life put literally on full blast like that? I then recalled the SATC episode when Miranda, a then-single woman, was buying her apartment and had to write a letter to her mortgage company correcting their assumption that she was married. But what irked me more was just the unsettled feeling this relationship notification gave me. Don’t misunderstand, I’ve never really been one to wax philosophical about being in a relationship. As a testament to how un-desperate I am to be booed up, I’ve been in a situation where a relationship was staring me in the face and I stopped that train before it left the station. My status outing on Facebook was, in a way, an opportunity to reflect on exactly who I currently am.

I spent the weekend watching old SATC episodes on DVD (I’ve been watching them on TBS so long I forgot the original HBO versions with all the nudity and cursing!), exercising, cleaning my apt, and doing things I like to do. I reflected on who I am and how I got to this point in my life. My time alone gives me a chance to see my shortcomings, try to fix them, and appreciate and enhance my good traits. I won’t go thru the usual female rhetoric of giving random excuses for a man’s inability to commit; it isn’t going to change my current single status. I am creating the best me I can be (cue Army music circa 1980s).

So now that Facebook has forced me to come out of the closet and reaffirm my relationship status, consider this my formal letter: I AM SINGLE. *~Tear Tear *~*  😦


15 responses to “Tales of Myspace and Facebook…

  1. Good post,

    I been thinking about this for a while now. I HATE the fact that FaceBook updates every little move you make. I swear I’ll get an update one day saying, “John has farted and Tiffany smelt it.” LOL

    But seriously, if you have a business page or use the site to promote your blog, like I do, you wind up with “friends” that aren’t really your friends and now they have access to all your personal info and moves. Scary.

    I still accept requests with caution and send emails like, “Uhm, how do we know each other?”

    Now you said something about changing the settings, is that true? All i’ve seen is how to stop receiving certain alerts not how to stop sending out alerts on your own moves. If there is such a way to do the latter, let a brother know.

  2. @ CamronZoe

    you came on time this morning. when i got to work, and logged in you had already posted, two NEW post, and i was so anxious to read them. i get all excited wondering what you’re topic of the day is going to be.

    you are a wonderful writer. you have an amazing gift. keep em coming.

    Some of my best ideas/revelations come from watching SATC and cleaning my apt too…

  3. Excellent story. Lol at $4.75.

    Just get off of Facebook. No good can come from it…I turned 35 this year and my b-day gift to myself was to delete my page. I’s free!

    girl you are a mess, and from what i can tell, not bad looking either…you won’t have a problem getting that status updated…

  4. I tried to delete mine a few months ago. Key word: Tried. I was back after about 30 days off.

    It is the devil, and I hate the updates too, but damned if Im not addicted to evil.

    Just make it less personal, delete all the private info, take off half the photos and get rid of your photo albums.

  5. I love Facebook! I’m back in touch with a lot of people from back in the day. You can tailor your notifications and stuff for your specific needs. For example, I’m FB friends with a couple people at work, but I don’t want them to read my blog, so I have blocked them from being able to see the link to my blog. I do the same thing with certain photo albums, contact info, wall posts and all that.

    The FB/MySpace drama can be funny. I have seen many a grown person revert to middle school behavior. There’s something very disturbing about seeing grown women “argue” back and forth on their shared man’s page. Yeah…

  6. I’m on them both but hardly ever, maybe when I’m bored out of my mind and wanna see what friends are up to. Otherwise I’ve got a million and one better things to do with my time and I enjoy my privacy.

    Anywho, nice post Cam! Don’t let FB stalkers ruin your happily single state. 🙂 Enjoy being alone, and count it on joy! If you’re ex can’t see what he has in front of him, then another man will 🙂

  7. LMFAO Now that I think about it, same thing happened with my friend – but she DID dump her boyfriend. I don’t have that setting that alerts one to my every move, I don’t think? I need my damn privacy and those sites are an utter waste of time if you’re older than 14 and have a fuckin life. Cracks me up to see people all up in arms about Top 8, tagged pics, blogs (saw one dude get put on blast like a MUTHA!!!!), etc.

  8. LOL, this post was hilarious because I think we all can relate to the alerts letting everyone know what someone is doing. I have this girlfriend who calls me anytime her old Crush adds a new album…I told her to get a life…I might check my accts once a week or less and will be DE-PERSONALIZING it ASAP. But alas, I am glad I opened facebook/myspace because I was able to get in touch with old friends and am even talking to this guy now bc of it. Flip side…. he knows everything I did earlier in the year already. We will be talking and he is like…oh yea like when you went to Cali… I’m like how do you know about that… Dag Facebook strikes again….its kinda creepy. 🙂

  9. Funny…

    and I can completely relate… the reason I love facebook more than myspace is because I can monitor what people see… I can block an individual person from seeing certain comments or pictures, etc… with myspace either your whole profile is private or its open and if its private the people who do have access, have access to everything

  10. I’m with you Mario, I think I will be getting rid of my facebook page soon too, or at least stop making them so personal….

  11. camronzoe –

    do not let your facebook friends make you feel bad you are single you are BEAUTIFUL, and you have skills. you will not be single for long…some young man will come along, and claim you.

  12. @ Katonna, she already has ONE that I know of trying to take her mind off things, but she won’t don’t right! lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s