“Because I always feel like running, not away because there is no such place, because if there was I would have found it by now” – Gil Scot Heron
Have you ever had a drink of water from a hose that doesn’t have a spicket or seen blood ooze so profusely from a wound that there are never enough bandages of tourniquets to stop the hemorrhaging? Well…at times that is how my brain operates. It seems to be the preferred method that my brain has chosen to filter its knowledge to me, and at times my mouth ignites a bountiful avalanche of, well…shit. Let’s just say I have diarrhea of the mouth and an extreme desire to get it out, wipe it clean, and erase the stink. The point that I am getting at is this, we all have thoughts that are random, that may not necessarily fit into a box or walk the straight and narrow yellow brick road that points us straight to the wizard. So ease on down the road with me on this random rendition of recent recognitions of life.
Please keep up as I will use topics as launching pads of discussion…Disclaimer: I am not licensed nor a credential carrying member to discuss of the topics that I will embark upon, they are merely MY opinions. Enjoy…
Chivalry isn’t dead, we just won’t allow it to live…Allow a man to be a man, furthermore demand it. Growing up being reared by two very strong women (mom, grandma) I was FORCED to hold open doors, walk near the curb when walking down the street with a woman, place a hand out when walking up a curve and offering to pay the bill when out on dates. It was so bad, that my mother would literally sit in the car and wait for me to come around and open the door for her. What seemed like such a pain at the age of 14 had truly turned into a marketing plow as I’ve become an older man. Ladies demand it or be left with the door closing in your face…
Keeping up appearances…I have a few issues that I need to address with the male gender.
Music selecting in the car: When riding in a car with your boys it is NOT hot to have “Single Ladies” blasting with the windows down as you sing ALL of the lyrics…LOUDLY. If I see this again I will pull my car over, get out and smack each individual who participates in this poppycock…
“In those Jeans”: Fellas, there is one simple rule of wearing your jeans. And it’s as follows: if they are tighter than your girl’s, don’t dare wear them. Side note: Please stop wearing skinny jeans and sagging them below your ass. You are not Trey Songz, Lil Wayne or Drake, who by the way are all gay…
When approaching random women: I get it, no one wants to get played or be told no. It can be quite embarrassing especially if you have an audience, i.e. your boys dared you to go to the bar and talk to the most attractive woman in the building. Odds are, they are watching with hopes and dreams that you fail…so they can laugh…out loud (LOL). However, if she tells you she is not interested, which she probably will because of the jeans you have on, PLEASE don’t say any of these things: “You are not all of that”, “If I was your man I would…”OR “FUCK YOU, you aint nothing but a stuck up bitch”. What happens to you next is justified so don’t even get mad…
I really don’t like you, but I still love you…I believe that anyone that has earned their puberty stripes and has lived long enough to have experienced a time when the coolest thing to have was a pager can relate to this. You have gotten to a point in your relationship where the two of you don’t click to the point of creating a very unpleasant dislike for your significant other. If you don’t listen to anything else that I tell you PLEASE take head to this: Ask yourself what have YOU done or NOT done to help drive this relationship to the edge of this cliff? It will change the reaction you get and may make this phase go away extremely quickly…
I don’t normally watch the BET awards because, well…they suck. But I made a point to watch this year’s rendition and well, they still sucked but there were some pleasant points from the ceremony.
Best Performance: Ledisi tributes Teena Marie…It wasn’t even close either. This performance made me download everything that she has ever put out as an artist. Not that I wasn’t aware of her talent, but damn, she SANG that joint.
Best Looking: Nia Long, my LORD! I think she is like 65 years old and even being that much everyone else’s senior AND pregnant, she was flawless.
Funniest Moment: “The Real Husbands of Hollywood”…Kevin Hart outdid himself with the help of Nick Cannon, Nelly, Jermaine Dupri and Bobby Brown rounding out the cast. It was hilarious and one of the few bright spots of the show.
Now, I could place the rest of the show in the Worst Of…category but there were some things that were just awful, even for BET.
Worst Live Vocals: Trey Songz…he sounded like a goat, and no, that is not an acronym.
Worst Live Performance(s): Yeah…take your pick. But this new hip hop just is not good live. Rick Ross, Drake, Weezy F, Ace Hood and whoever else was on the stage 90 times, please get off and don’t get back up there. Thanks!
Worst Hair: Alicia Keys…wow, it was really bad!
Worst Acceptance Speech: Nicki Minaj…
And Steve Harvey, I hate you…that is all!
Hell ward Bound…The people listed are some of the worst to walk or have walked the planet. “Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell” – Samuel L. Jackson (my favorite actor), “A Time to Kill”
Casey Anthony: For obvious reasons, but in case you are not fully aware of what she did (but was found NOT guilty) of, here goes: She killed her 2 year old daughter by putting homemade chloroform over her mouth, duct taped her mouth and nose and left her to decompose. She lied to authorities about her child being drowned, having been in the custody of a person who didn’t even exist and living the lifestyle of a mother that could care less. Her mother then waited 31 days to file her as missing…Her time will come and when it does…THAT revolution should be televised.
Bishop Eddie Long: For more of less not being the man of God that he tells other men to be. But more specifically for having a marriage ceremony with a DUDE, for sending pornographic pictures of himself to a DUDE and acting like a Catholic priest…for gaying down little dudes. We have all been bamboozled by this “man” on so many levels. He is in the group of “I’m not guilty but I will settle out of court for millions of dollars so that I am not exposed for my NON guilt”…REALLY?! He’s a fraud to Christians and to me that will get you a one way gasoline underwear marinated trip to H E double hockey sticks!
Osama Bin Laden: For making gas prices go up…Burn, Burn, and Burn!!
“I am Music”…Lastly, the best album that I have heard lately is “Late Nights, Early Mornings” by Marsha Ambrosius. I loved Floetry and everything they did together but damn Natalie Stewart was holding Marsha back apparently. If you haven’t heard it, cop it! Cee Lo’s “The Lady Killer” and Chris Brown’s “F.A.M.E” are also very solid. And do NOT sleep on Kelly Price and Tank’s new albums respectfully.
I appreciate Cam extending the invitation to be a guest blogger and I look forward to any future endeavors. Feel free to discuss and leave comments. Until next time, I’m out…Holla!!
Gil Scot Heron, Rest In Peace!